The True Spirit of Christmas

6 years of marriage down....4 more to go and I can beg for a diamond upgrade without looking greedy! Totally joking :) My husband actually did a great job the first time around. (Luke...if you're reading this, I wouldn't turn it down although I don't technically need it. But you don't technically need a sports car someday either.) I realize there is no way to write that joke without some people taking it seriously, so if you don't know me well enough to know that I am kidding, rest assured that I am fully aware that a ring does not make a marriage. Save your lectures....I buy clothes at Target! I'm hardly pretentious unless you happen to think that Hondas are a sweet ride. In that case....yeah, I live the good life! Rolling with my "real time 4 wheel drive" which is actually useless because I am scared to death of driving in the snow and I'm not 4 wheeling around the subdivision culdesacs either. I think that's against HOA regulations and I promised that judge I wouldn't be breaking any more rules.

We didn't end up going to The Outback for dinner as originally planned. Luke thoughtfully made a huge lunch earlier in the day and by the time my mom was halfway over to babysit I looked at him and said, "I'm not hungry." He wasn't either. Movie? As I've stated in previous blogs....Luke and I don't agree on movies and I thought it might be nice to have an evening where we actually enjoy each other's company in an effort to remember why we started this crazy ride in the first place. We had to go somewhere though or how else was my mom going to sneak Emery all of those fruit snacks she keeps in her purse that she thinks I don't know about? We settled on happy hour at Portland City Grill mostly because that place in no way reminds me of children and this was an adults-only evening. I've never changed a diaper there and they don't have a kid's menu....perfect! We even scored a booth right away! We sat down preparing for an evening of conversation catching up on everything we don't get to say to each other when Emery is showing us his train collection for the 873th time demanding "missile lock" parental attention like he is going to tell us something we don't already know about Thomas the Blue Engine. But as fate would have it, we didn't end up doing much talking because we both set eyes on a rare form of social interaction across the bar...a first date.

I don't know how these two kids met, but I'm guessing it was something like an accounting convention (no offense Luke) or maybe Toastmasters. No, it couldn't have been Toastmasters. She wouldn't even make eye contact until after two White Russians when she finally bit the big bullet and actually looked at her date! I bet he was beginning to think that hour he spent contemplating whether or not to pop his collar was never going to pay off. Oh...an accidental arm graze! Finally....this was getting good! Not as good as traffic court, but WAY better than a movie! We were just about to order another round of drinks in anticipation of watching the rest of the night play out when a single man (no doubtingly looking for lady love before appetizers went back to full price) sat right in the middle of our view. Cancel the drinks....this dates over! We're not spending $20 on overpriced cocktails to stare at the back of a sportscoat all night. Hmmm...where next?

Now I'm not sure how we decided to go to the next place, but it was a HUGE mistake! Since this is the first year I can't do the Christmas shopping in front of Emery, I thought we could make a quick trip to Toys R' Us and get on the same page as to what we were thinking Santa might bring this year. I REALLY miss the good ole days of "distract and confuse" where I could slip all of Emery's presents into the bottom of the cart in the same shopping trip as a weekly milk run. The Toys R' Us trip wasn't too bad in itself until I made one fatal error. I took home the "Big Book of Toys" catalog...

Needless to say we now have a 3 year old who has dang near circled everything in that catalog that he doesn't deem a "girl toy." At the very top of his list is a $90 remote controlled Bigfoot robot that annoys me even behind the plastic walls of a Target demo setup! I'm no fool. That thing would end up right next to our robotic "Tickle me Elmo" that only sees the light of day when Emery opens his toy box looking for his conductor hat. The chance of Santa bringing it into our home as a permanent fixture is slim to none....poor kid! So now I have a month to convince him that he actually wants another fire truck or some more trains. I started this dubious task by helping him write his very first Christmas list! Don't worry....it was after a long lecture about how Christmas isn't about receiving, it's to celebrate Jesus's birth etc etc etc. I thought we had a nice list of less expensive (but more imaginative) toys all written out when I had him sign the bottom. Just before bedtime though, Luke asked him if he wanted to put the letter at the foot of his bed for the elves to pick up and deliver to Santa? "No daddy....I have lots more to add later. Good night"

Time to revisit that lecture.....this is only year 3???

For real??