Are Quarters Magnetic?

So yesterday I took the kids to the mall.  Isn't it funny how that alone is worthy of a blog entry when there was a time (not long ago) when writing about going to a mall would be the equivalent of writing about the fact that I decided to have lunch on any given day? Regardless, that's where the story starts....at Washington Square Mall.

Now there are a few reasons I don't go to the mall anymore:

1. We don't fit. Have you ever compared the size of a double wide stroller to the size of an average shopping aisle? No wonder my husband was so quick to say yes to my request for a Double Bob!  It's the last thing I've ever bought because owning it makes it impossible to shop anywhere including places like Gymboree or Gap Kids where their marketing geniuses have yet to figure out that if they made the stores stroller friendly, they might sell more to (wait for it......) their target consumer!  Novel idea huh?

2. I don't have enough quarters.  I don't think I've ever lied about the fact that sometimes I'm more about sanity than teaching moral lessons in front of an audience of strangers.  For example, if I have to choose between teaching Emery that he can't have everything he wants like the "pay rides" (conveniently located next to the free play area) through his sobbing tears while holding a baby that just threw her bottle at a passer by....guess what?  I'll dig for 50¢, revel in the 20 minutes of peace it bought me, and save that lesson for a time when he wants something really dumb like that stupid remote control Bigfoot.  Hmmmm.... now that I'm thinking about it, Gap Kids should just hire the people who thought to put the pay rides by the free play area!  Those people knew what they were doing!  The only way to get quarters out of my pocket faster would be to install industrial strength magnets at the door.  (Wait....are quarters magnetic?  If not....for the sake of the story, pretend they are.)

3. Subway.  Who doesn't love $5 footlongs??  I'll tell you who! The Subway franchise owners at the mall!  You know when you see the $5 Footlong commercial and it says really small on the bottom of the screen, "only valid at participating locations."  Well guess which Subways don't participate?  Yup....the mall ones.  I don't know if it's my place to tell them, but being located next to a "hurricane simulator" should be reason enough to shed the superiority complex that is somehow developed by sharing your dining room with a Panda Express.  I'll just tell you that I could taste $2 of resentment on my $7 turkey sub. 

4. Shopping is a big tease.  Forget the fact that 99¢ of every $1 to my name goes to diapers and inflated preschool registration fees and (just for a second) pretend that funds are unlimited.  Would that mean I could shop to my heart's content?  NOT A CHANCE.  I did go into the new H&M just to check out it. However it took me a box of raisins, a bag of grapes, and some freeze dried apples just to get through the first 3 rounders of the clothing equivalent to Ikea furniture.  If you really think about it, that's roughly a $5 "snack tax" just to try and save $3 on a shirt.  Economics people....economics.  This is false savings!!  I did buy a few things, but in my haste didn't realize that I had multiple H&M store hangers hiding in the crevices of my stroller canopy until I made it all the way to the parking lot.  They'll make a lovely addition to my hall closet until I can rightfully return them when a) I go to the mall again and b) I remember to take them with me.  In all honesty, those two conditions are a perfect storm of "never going to happen."

So in a nutshell, if it hadn't been for the grand prize of getting to spend 3 hours with my sister, it would be a trip that I wouldn't have taken.  I did notice, however, that Nordstrom now has a complimentary 2 hour babysitting service for ages 3-8.  They also have a gigantic sign on the door that says something to the effect of "We won't take your kid to the bathroom so if you think you're dropping them of here fully loaded and it's our problem....think again!"   Still, that's a semi-step forward for any store! Now I can enjoy my God-given right to (window) shop for purses that I can't afford in peace!

Other than that, my weekend was great! Besides the fact that it was my own mother's birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!!) It was also my Mother-in-Laws birthday (as noted in a previous blog entry) and there was another surprise event for her. I hope Luke was taking notes because his father planned an all day wine escape complete with an amazing family dinner in wine country.  I say it was amazing because this woman raised 5 kids and every one of them could still read the menu after 8 hours of tastings. Although I realize the purpose of the day was to celebrate her birthday, this was the first entire day I have spent kid-free with my husband in a long long loooooong time!  Here is a picture of us.....together....without kids.  (Thank you "Amber" for holding down the fort at home!)

 

Cheers to the birthday girl!  We love you mama-Stacy!

Small note: 

I'm not ignoring my own mothers birthday.  She's a little under the weather so we have postponed her birthday celebration.  Feel better mom!