Is anyone reading this legally allowed to write me a prescription for Xanax? I knew I should have been way nicer to those kids studying chemistry in college!! I really did a horrible job anticipating my future networking needs and instead spent countless nights in the business computer lab working hard to earn a "marketing" degree. I mean, what can all my OSU business classmates help me out with now? If I'm lucky maybe one of them got some cushy job as the head of brand development for Red Bull and I might score a free caffeinated drink provided I find them on Facebook and relish in the good ole times where I did their share of group work because I am type A and their writing skills weren't up to par. (side note: Clearly my writing skills are A+ as evidenced by the fact that I never do run on sentences.....ever!) Regardless, I don't need caffeine....I need Xanax! Yesterday! Last Week!
Oh...I hate the news! I try not to live in fear, but someone at KGW is doing a great job because I am trying hard to decide whether buying 20 gallons of water or physically moving my family to Bend is a more effective solution to squashing my reawakened lifelong fear of mega-earthquakes. Am I the only one going through this? Is anyone else sweating bullets that we live in a place where this can truly happen? In all honesty, I've come a long way since last week. Moving to Bend is a mental compromise where I can still be close to my family but earthquakes won't feel as big. Last week I actually wanted to move to Florida or North Dakota which are the two states least likely to have any type of earthquakes. Do you want to know how I know this? Because I am crazy earthquake/tsunami research lady now! It's out of control! For instance, we're supposed to take the kids on a nice little beach vacation after tax season this year. Do you know how I am choosing my destination? I'm selecting it based on which city has an abundance of quickly accessible "high ground" in case a mega-quake creates a tsunami that leaves me only 15 minutes to find a local mountain top! I'm considering writing off the Oregon Coast all together the rest of my life. It's overrated. Not even warm. This, of course, was all going on in my head before I presented my plan to my husband who looked at me like I was crazy before saying, "You realize that there is like a billion percent more chance that we get into a car accident on the way to the beach?" Good point. Driving is overrated too. You know, I've been looking for some motivation to start the "Couch to 5K" program! Escaping an Oregon Coast tsunami may give me a renewed interest in increasing my stamina for long distance running. Always a silver lining, right? In 6 months I'll thank this fear for my stunning new figure!
So anyway, I'm not trying to scare anyone or bring you down to my level. Please understand this fear is coming from someone who volunteers to hold coats while everyone else is going on Splash Mountain because that last vertical drop into the water makes me stomach quiver and cute little animated cartoons singing Disney songs hardly puts my soul at ease. (Side note: If you ever go to Disneyland you might consider taking me as paid staff. I'll watch your strollers too!). And I've actually been in Earthquakes before (practically sitting on the epicenter of that 5.6 in 1993....you Canby folks remember that?!) and it wasn't as horrible as I imagined. I just threw my covers over my head because if anything was going to protect me it was going to be a floral duvet cover! And besides that, the only thing my recent research proved is that Geologists say a 9.0 could hit Oregon/Washington today or it could be another 700 years. Yeah, they got paid Lord knows much to reach that conclusion once again proving that I picked the wrong major in college...
Talk me down people! I can tell I'm overreacting because I made my husband bolt the playroom shelves to the wall! Of course Luke told me he wasn't doing it because of my earthquake fears, but because more likely than that some kid was going to climb it and we would be forced to test the limits of our homeowner's insurance policy regarding accidental injury. Really I think he just knows that bolting those things is easier than listening to me do my "move away from the shelf drills" with the kids on an ongoing basis which yes, I did do!
Speaking of homeowner's insurance, if anyone is looking for a new agent (Life/Home/Auto) my brother in law is featured in this month's Portland Monthly as one of Portland's best Insurance Agents! Way to go Nate!! Congratulations! Here's to hoping I never have to call you to utilize one of my policies :)
Check Out Nate's Website Here!
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