Item of the Week

Well today was supposed to change my life, and it didn't.  So much for winning the St. Patrick's Day Million Dollar Raffle!  Oh well, living mortgage free is overrated, right?  It's a good thing I never started packing my bags for that Hawaiin vacation (I had already mentally purchased tickets) that I was going to use to celebrate our good fortune.  If you're not sad for me, you should be!  I'll have you know that I was going to rent a few houses for my closest friends and hold a huge celebratory party Island Style!  Of course my hypothetical party plan kind of ignored the fact that $1,000,000 after taxes might not totally cover the tab of what I deem to be "Island Style."  I guess I'll just hold onto our losing ticket so I can claim it as a deduction when I finally do win a jackpot.  Did you know you could do that?  As if when you win millions of dollars your first concern is going to be digging out and organizing all of your losing lottery tickets so that you can claim a $100 deduction against your winnings. Regardless, I'll hold onto it just in case.  It makes me feel like an optimist!

Maybe it's better that I didn't win because I would probably be one of those people who lost touch with reality and went all crazy.  My idea of crazy though would be spending $1.99 on a pack of foil star stickers for Emery's potty chart instead of making a special trip to the Dollar Store to save the 99¢ difference.  Speaking of the Dollar Store, I went there the other day for this exact reason!  I have a love/hate relationship with the Dollar Store.  For example, I love that I can buy a gift bag there for $1 instead of the $4.99 that Hallmark charges. I hate that it costs me an extra $4 to buy that bag when I get distracted by giant boxes of Mike & Ike's and Nerds. Another thing I hate is that there are times when I find myself mid-aisle staring off into space contemplating things like:

1. Whose idea was it to have "Item of the Week" and not make that item less than $1?  Imagine how much they pay to have those dang posters printed when it's not like some "extreme-couponer" (sidenote: has anyone seen that show??) is going to show up and clear the shelf out for their hoarding pleasure "stockpile".  Not when you can get the very same thing next week for........$1.

2. There may be some good deals there but there are some serious traps too! For instance, I saw another huge poster highlighting the fact that they have H&R Block tax filing software.  Imagine the convenience and savings!  Except.....it's Federal filing only and just in case you don't keep up on tax software, it's FREE online. All you get for $1 (in this case) is a CD that you can use as a pint glass coaster if you still decorate like it's your junior year in college.

3.  Who trains these cashiers? (Part I).  Instead of meandering through the whole store I thought to ask someone if they knew if they carry star stickers. I won't deny that the employee was incredibly eager to help me find them.  The only problem is that she finally caught up with me 10 minutes later to apologize that they don't stock them as I stood in the middle of their school supply aisle putting two boxes of said stickers in my basket.  "Whoa," she said!  "You better buy those now in case we don't have them later!"  Yeah, because I'm pretty sure the Dollar Store has a monopoly on foil star stickers?  "A" for effort on this sales pitch, but I'm not thinking a commissioned sales position is in her future.

4. Who trains these cashiers? (Part 2).  Why does it take so long to do the math for change?  Lady....I'm a patient person, really I am!  But we're working with WHOLE DOLLARS here!  I gave you a ten. I bought 3 things.  Why do you have a calculator?  Why are you using it?  I wonder if she applied in Washington but the sales tax tripped her up so she got demoted to Oregon? This state is probably the pit of Dollar Store employees for that very reason....

You know, there are some days when I feel really productive and like I have something to say that some of you might be interested in.  And there are days like today when I re-read what I wrote and slowly realize that I shouldn't admit I've given any topic that much thought.  At least those employees are working and contributing to society!  I, on the other hand, was just killing time writing this while I wait for my Net-Flix to get here.  Better go check the mail!

PS...I don't have anything against "extreme couponers" for a family looking to save some money.  But if you're hoarding 300 toothbrushes and 30 years of toilet paper just so you can brag that you saved $300 while having to buy a bigger house to store it all in....you have math skills that rival those of my last Dollar Store cashier :)