Hecho en Mexico

Does anyone know of a nice gift for an adorable little girl turning 3 that has at minimum 200 pieces? Preferably each piece would be critical for the toy to function properly so that if even one is lost it will result in a level 10 temper-tantrum and make it necessary for the dad to spend all day searching for something the size of a toothpick. I'm talking about a toy that will eventually reacquaint that same dad with every crevice of his couch only after leading him to discover what's been under his fridge, oven, and dishwasher. Does anyone know of anything like that? Because that is what I am going to get my brother's little girl for her birthday!

Let me back up....

This weekend was LuLu's first birthday party. Nothing big....a small family affair. Of course a small affair when both you and and your husband come from huge families translates into 25 adults in a standing-room-only kitchen that overlooks 7 little boys fighting over 4 trains while 3 little girls cry about who has what balloon. And smack dab in the center of it all is LuLu completely unaware that this entire spectacle is being painted as a party for her when in reality it's only purpose is to erase any sense of parental guilt that would be associated with acknowledging that a one year old has NO idea what their birthday is. Trust me. I tried to disregard the need for a big party this year. But 72 hours before the minuscule "grandparents only" dinner I planned, the intense feeling of motherly failure set in. Needless to say the next three days were a whirlwind of picking out streamers (that no one would notice), sending out invitations (that no one would read), and making a cake (that no one would eat.) So to those of you who thought I was kidding about shaping a Costco cake into a "1" - I wasn't. I'm no fool. This is diet season and even though everyone will "ooh and ahh" over a cake, no one is going near that thing unless it involves a photo opportunity! But the same guilt that had me sending out an Evite with only 3 days notice also had my gut wrenching at the thought of not making Lu's very first birthday cake myself. Of course by "myself" I mean having "Amber" supervise me while Betty Crocker and I relive the good old days when Cherry Chip cake reigned supreme and it counted as "baking" if you add two eggs and some vegetable oil to a mix and stirred.

Anyway, you know you have great families when you can pack a house on a Saturday night on very short notice. You also know that your twenties are a thing of the past when everyone around you has Saturday nights open. (Hmmm....how do I want to look at that one??) There was a perfect little crowd to sing Happy Birthday while Lu stared at her mini cake because, after all, she didn't want to eat a bite either. How was that even possible? My girl is a tank and she eats everything! Everything, that is, except my Cherry Chip masterpiece. Oh well. By this point all of the little cousins were wanting Lu to open her presents. Really what they wanted was to tear every last gift apart before Lu even set eyes on the giant pile of pink paper and glittery bows. But I'm so much wiser than I used to be....I now use this fact to my advantage! The best way to get presents opened fast and save everyone a big bore is to tell all the three year olds in the room that they can "help." 3 minutes.....done. Perfect. I kinda feel awkward for even allowing people to give my daughter presents when are already blessed in so many ways! But seeing as they all have good taste and it was mostly a pile of clothes I was able to let that fact slide for a few minutes. And just as I began to hold up the cutest pair of mini skinny jeans....I saw it.

No one else probably even noticed. But I did. I saw pink plastic vaguely in the shape of a barrel. I saw a grin on my brother's face and a glisten in his eye. And then in one quick swoop.....play...food...everywhere. 100 pieces of plastic play food to be exact. Ohhhhh......he had been waiting to do this for so long!!! With little cardboard boxes of cereal flying past tiny cans of corn my brother proudly shouted, "Everyone get some food! Play with it in this room. Play with it that room. Play with it all over the house!" Okay....Okay...I may have had this coming. Last year I bought his daughter the very same barrel of food along with a shopping cart for Christmas. It was an unassuming gift. My brother, however, likes to remind me that he spends every night picking up plastic french fries and miniature milk cartons that are all inscribed, "Hecho en Mexico." I keep telling him that at least it's better than China! Regardless, my gift was a gesture of love. His gift was a gesture of war. It's on Tim.....it's ON!

When in doubt.....distract with candy!

"Don't love it mom....."