Twenty-One Questions

Seriously.....I haven't blogged since February?? And even then it was about the neighbor's cats.  That, my friends, is what you call a downward spiral.  A real life hang up your downtown dancing shoes, move to the suburbs, have two kids, celebrate birthdays at Red Robin, dress in hoodies for preschool drop-off, blog about your neighbors cats downward spiral. At this point, I'm surprised my daily planner even offers me the option of scheduling events past 8:00pm without throwing up an, "Are you sure about that?" verification page. It's definitely a far cry from where I was 10 years ago. I mean, I used to have the instinct to high-five someone if we scored free drinks, now I have the instinct to high-five someone if Emery makes it into the "no cavity" club every six months. It's just as cool, right?

But it goes without saying, it's all worth it and every parent knows it.  As quickly as I've come to accept that often enough a Saturday night may feel like a Tuesday night in my house, I've also come to appreciate that a five year old's one liners can make me laugh infinitely harder than any of the mischief I could have found in my twenties. I submit to you a challenge; and it's not to tell me whether I should have used a colon or a semicolon there of which I am not really sure.  It is instead to have a five year old say, "We don't talk about fight club!" without it being significantly more hilarious than if an adult said it!  It's just a fact, it will be funnier.  It's like seeing a baby animal picture on Facebook....you know your heart presses "like" even though your finger refuses to press the button wisely saving you from the associated social stigma. These three things are true: I need to relearn the rules regarding semicolon vs. colon, baby animals are cute, and kids are funnier than adults. 

I love the way kids boil everything down to truth.....no sugarcoating, no making excuses, no wondering what people will think.  It's a rare day when Emery doesn't say something that makes me smile. And I don't mean in the, "Ahh shucks, isn't my kid super smart" way.  I mean in the, "Did he just school me using complete nonsense and I can't think of a comeback?" way!  Watching him grow has been like reliving life through someone else's perspective. But it's a crap shoot as to what he is willing to enlighten me with on any given day.  Naturally, looking for some insight into how his mind works, I combat this the same way any mom does....21 questions. "What did you do at school? What did you have for snack? Did you sing any songs? What did you paint? Did you wear your coat at recess? Who did you play with?"

Let me re-live that real life conversation for you:

Me: What did you do at school today?
Emery: I don't know. 
Me: What did you have for snack?
Emery: Cheese or popcorn. I don't remember.
Me: Did you sing any songs?
Emery: I don't think so.
Me: What did you paint?
Emery: I wanted to build something but Mrs. Jones said no lightsabers. 
Me: Did you wear your coat at recess?
Emery: Brian* didn't bring a coat today.
Me: Okay, Ummm.....who did you play with?
Emery: Brian, Cody, and Mark.
Me: Do you ever play with any girls?
Emery: Girls aren't cool.
Me: But girls are pretty.
Emery: What's cool about being pretty? Do you know what's cool mom?  Brian had a Ninjago shirt on, that's cool!"

I love those moments when he catches me off-guard and I realize he's living in his own world, and not mine.  So, while I'm imagining that he's building vital social skills at the monkey bars that will launch him into some sort of successful career, all he's really thinking is, "cool shirt Brian." I need to re-simplify my life like that.  Then, when some adult tragedy occurs, instead of freaking out I can just say, "Red Robin is good." And luckily because we moved the suburbs, there's one close by. Problem solved.

Have a great week friends!

* names changed to protect those not cool enough to own a Ninjago shirt.